Going straight to the Cross
 

Working With Difficult People

by Tim Hall

The assignment Paul gave Titus would not be easy. "Set in order the things that are lacking," Paul had instructed him (Titus 1:5, New King James Version). Making matters more complicated was the general tendency of the island population. "One of them, a prophet of their own, said, 'Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.' This testimony is true" (Titus 1:12,13). Paul would not mislead his coworker; his work among the Cretan people would be challenging!

We can imagine how frustrated Titus must have at times become. Old habits are hard to break. New Christians would need time to change their behaviors. In the meantime, great patience would be required as Titus would witness dishonesty and selfishness among people who should know better. Paul's further instructions to "rebuke with all authority" (Titus 2:15) might have been interpreted as a green light to tear into these hypocrites!

But Paul quickly added other counsel to temper impatient church workers: "Remind them . . . to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men" (Titus 3:1,2). Peaceable? Gentle? Humble among people who needed to be sharply rebuked? Paul, how can you expect us to be so restrained among people who are notorious for their laziness and lies?

Here's his answer: "For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another" (Titus 3:3). There was good reason for Paul to point to the Christian worker's own sordid past. If we can outgrow sinful habits, then these difficult brethren can, too. But patience is needed. Be patient, remembering that you were once like them.

Is this not where many of us go astray? We expect so much of other people. That's fine to a point, for God's word has great expectations. (Remember Matthew 5:48? "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.") But sometimes we forget the path our spiritual growth has taken. Our own path began at a very low point. It had many twists and turns, many ups and downs. But over time we have made progress. Given time and encouragement, maybe these Cretan brethren can progress, too.

John Bradford (1510-1555) once observed criminals being taken to their execution. "But for the grace of God there goes John Bradford," he reflected. He was right. True, it takes more than God's grace to change a life, but without God's grace none of us would have opportunity to repent and reform. Take divine grace out of the picture, and we are all condemned transgressors.

Paul realized this truth better than most: "But by the grace of God I am what I am . . ." (1 Corinthians 15:10). When he wrote those words, Paul was a model of Christian discipleship. But it had not always been so. He needed time, patience and encouragement. Sharp rebuke without loving exhortation will cause young disciples to wilt.

It's worth repeating: Sharp rebuke without loving exhortation will cause young disciples to wilt.

The Cretans have many relatives living yet today. The patience of Christian workers can be pressed to the limits by such brethren. But may we never forget that "we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived . . ." Let us do unto others as we would have the Lord do unto us!

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