Abusive Relationships & Living For God BNewton, October 1, 2003 at 6:53:00 PM BST
by Barry Newton How should a Christian wife respond to an abusive husband? Does “turning the other cheek” mean that a disciple should quietly accept abusive situations? For those who seek to do God's will, questions like these deserve a reliable compass from scripture. The Right Starting Point - God’s Compass As with other questions about living, the greatest and second greatest commandments chart a reliable path to God’s answer. Regardless of the situation, the most important directive for any human being is to love God which includes obeying how God wants us to treat others. The second most important obligation for God’s people is they should love others in the same way they love themselves. Matthew 22:37-38 Love - Understanding Where the Needle Points The New Testament’s exhortation to love our spouses, neighbors, ourselves and even our enemies entails actively seeking someone’s well-being. While it will not always be easy to seek someone's well-being, the decision to act with such a love can even operate in the most hostile of environments where other forms of love, such as friendship or passion, will have evaporated. The Two Basic Responses - True North or Something Else A victim of abuse has two choices: either respond with love or with something that is not love. An unloving response can lead in many different directions. One response common to humanity is to seek revenge. The bitter resolve, whether yelled or quietly sworn, "I'll get you back for this" is never an option for those seeking to do God’s will. Dishing out personal retribution violates obeying how God wants us to respond to others since God declared, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” Romans 12:19 Similarly, Jesus banished any form of personal retaliation when he taught to “turn the other cheek.” Matthew 5:39. Turning the other cheek obviously rules out revenge. But is this also an insistence that we passively accept all of the abuse others might enjoy dishing out? No. In response to the principle of seeking just retribution (Matthew 5:38), Jesus’ teaching replaced enforcing one's own justice and revenge with a loving response. To respond with love eliminates striking back. As Jesus demonstrated through several examples, a loving response does something good for the perpetrator! Matthew 5:39-42 The principle of love involves “do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21, 17 Jesus did not teach passivity toward evil. Being passive is incompatible with the goal of love since there is a final day of judgment coming. In view of God's judgment upon all evil, to passively accept abuse fails to seek an abuser’s well-being. Putting Love Into Practice - Knowing How To Walk North In some situations, knowing how to love in an effective manner requires wisdom. Paul prayed that the love of the Philippians would be guided by knowledge and depth of insight. Philippians 1:9 What tools might God use in a victim’s hands to seek the well-being of an abuser? Will the abusive individual be open to spiritual counseling? Will acts of kindness be understood as showing a better way or will they mistakenly be interpreted in a manner to reinforce sinful behavior? Will the person fail to be transformed short of physical separation or civil action? Knowing how to help an abusive person can be challenging. What is clear is that God's people are to love even their enemies and love is not passive. ... subscribe
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Update on FMag Forthright Magazine continues, more dynamic than ever! We have groups created for FMag on Facebook and the Churches of Christ Network. Announcement blog is up and going on Preachers Files. Email lists about FMag and FPress are available both on Yahoo and GoogleGroups. And, to top it all off, we're twittering for both on Twitter.com. by randal @ 1/20/09, 11:55 AM How to Make Sure That Your Judgment Is Flawless by Don Ruhl Read the Bible in a Year This evening read John 5:24--47 How to Make Sure That Your Judgment Is Flawless Yes, it is popular to say that we are not supposed to judge, but the truth is we all make judgments about many things daily. Otherwise, we would never succeed in life. The real question is what is our guide for judging. Why can we not simply follow the example of our Master and Lord? He said, 30 "I can of Myself ... more ... by diane amberg @ 5/18/05, 5:08 AM Do You Ever Feel Like Just a Name? by Don Ruhl Read the Bible in a Year This morning read First Chronicles 1--3 Do You Ever Feel Like Just a Name? Think on the manner, in which the Book of First Chronicles begins, 1 Adam, Seth, Enosh (1 Chr. 1:1). In this way begins the longest genealogy in the Bible. The names continue to the end of the ninth chapter! Were these just names? Adam; who is he? You know there is more in the Bible than the mere mention of his name in ... more ... by diane amberg @ 5/18/05, 5:05 AM ...
by Don Ruhl Read the Bible in a Year This evening read John 5:1--23 Jesus healed a man. Praise God! However, Jesus healed him on the Sabbath. Uh oh. Some people were ready to kill Jesus for this perceived violation of the Sabbath Law. 16 For this reason the Jews persecuted Jesus, and sought to kill Him, because He had done these things on the Sabbath (Joh. 5:16). Jesus did a good thing. Yet, people criticized Him severely for it. And they were not people ... more ... by diane amberg @ 5/18/05, 5:03 AM They Were His Servants by Don Ruhl Read the Bible in a Year This morning read Second Kings 24 and 25 They Were His Servants As the writer of Second Kings explains whom the Lord sent against Judah, the writer said that this was 2 ...according to the word of the LORD which He had spoken by His servants the prophets (2 Kin. 24:2). Those great men we have honored for centuries were nothing more than servants of the Lord God. What does that make us? Do you do something ... more ... by diane amberg @ 5/18/05, 5:01 AM ...
by Don Ruhl Read the Bible in a Year This evening read John 4:30--54 The disciples went into a town to buy food while Jesus remained out of the town. There He engaged a woman in conversation. When the disciples returned, here is what happened, 31 In the meantime His disciples urged Him, saying, "Rabbi, eat." 32 But He said to them, "I have food to eat of which you do not know" (Joh. 4:31, 32). As you read the Gospel According to John, watch ... more ... by diane amberg @ 5/18/05, 4:59 AM Having a Tender Heart by Don Ruhl Read the Bible in a Year This morning read Second Kings 22 and 23 Having a Tender Heart When Josiah heard the word of God for the first time, he tore his clothes, knowing of the wrath that was upon Jerusalem for the idolatry of his forefathers. Therefore, he sent messengers to a prophetess to inquire of the Lord. He did have a message for Josiah. God said through the prophetess, 19 "...because your heart was tender, and you humbled yourself before ... more ... by diane amberg @ 5/18/05, 4:56 AM
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