by Barry Newton

How should a Christian wife respond to an abusive husband? Does “turning the other cheek” mean that a disciple should quietly accept abusive situations? For those who seek to do God's will, questions like these deserve a reliable compass from scripture.

The Right Starting Point - God’s Compass

As with other questions about living, the greatest and second greatest commandments chart a reliable path to God’s answer. Regardless of the situation, the most important directive for any human being is to love God which includes obeying how God wants us to treat others. The second most important obligation for God’s people is they should love others in the same way they love themselves. Matthew 22:37-38

Love - Understanding Where the Needle Points

The New Testament’s exhortation to love our spouses, neighbors, ourselves and even our enemies entails actively seeking someone’s well-being. While it will not always be easy to seek someone's well-being, the decision to act with such a love can even operate in the most hostile of environments where other forms of love, such as friendship or passion, will have evaporated.

The Two Basic Responses - True North or Something Else

A victim of abuse has two choices: either respond with love or with something that is not love. An unloving response can lead in many different directions.

One response common to humanity is to seek revenge. The bitter resolve, whether yelled or quietly sworn, "I'll get you back for this" is never an option for those seeking to do God’s will. Dishing out personal retribution violates obeying how God wants us to respond to others since God declared, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” Romans 12:19 Similarly, Jesus banished any form of personal retaliation when he taught to “turn the other cheek.” Matthew 5:39.

Turning the other cheek obviously rules out revenge. But is this also an insistence that we passively accept all of the abuse others might enjoy dishing out? No. In response to the principle of seeking just retribution (Matthew 5:38), Jesus’ teaching replaced enforcing one's own justice and revenge with a loving response. To respond with love eliminates striking back. As Jesus demonstrated through several examples, a loving response does something good for the perpetrator! Matthew 5:39-42 The principle of love involves “do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21, 17

Jesus did not teach passivity toward evil. Being passive is incompatible with the goal of love since there is a final day of judgment coming. In view of God's judgment upon all evil, to passively accept abuse fails to seek an abuser’s well-being.

Putting Love Into Practice - Knowing How To Walk North

In some situations, knowing how to love in an effective manner requires wisdom. Paul prayed that the love of the Philippians would be guided by knowledge and depth of insight. Philippians 1:9

What tools might God use in a victim’s hands to seek the well-being of an abuser? Will the abusive individual be open to spiritual counseling? Will acts of kindness be understood as showing a better way or will they mistakenly be interpreted in a manner to reinforce sinful behavior? Will the person fail to be transformed short of physical separation or civil action? Knowing how to help an abusive person can be challenging. What is clear is that God's people are to love even their enemies and love is not passive.

by Barbara Oliver

As I explained last time, the traffic here is horrendous. The larger streets have a median. The street, by the way, has no lane lines. Since no one even pretends to stay in a lane anyway, it makes perfect sense.

In the midst of this chaos, three or four cows will be lying out in the median. Pedestrians just walk around them. How they (the cows) got across those lanes of traffic, I cannot imagine. They just lie there, in bovine contentment as the rest of the world zips past.

Technically, the owner of the cows can be fined, since they do present a very real traffic hazard. But like the no-honking rule, it is apparently not being obeyed.

We went to Nehru Place to get a computer cable. In the middle of this big complex of shops and offices, there was a cow eating out of a trash bin.

Francis and I took our excursion to Nehru Place by bus. No one but me is crazy enough to take the bus - but even then, only with Francis. Although, he is threatening to give me four rupees and make me get on the bus and get home by myself. I think Betty will put her foot down about that. At least, I hope she will!

Sunday, after morning worship, some of the young people took us to the Dilli Haat. It is a market with booths from which they sell items that represent each state in India (there are about 30 states now). Each state is noted for some craft or cloth material.

We ate at one of the outdoor cafes. After lunch, the waiter placed a little tray of green anise seeds with a few grains of sugar, which were about the size of a half-caret. They are used as a breath-freshener and digestive aid. Most of the Indians I was sitting with said they didn't eat it out like this because it had dust, etc. But then, some of them reached in and got a small spoonful. I tried it, and they were right. It was a little gritty, and there were a few kernels that were something besides anise seeds. But it was really quite refreshing.

We went to the Red Fort for a little site seeing, but, unfortunately, it was closed on Mondays. The Red Fort is in Old Delhi. It was crowded and dirty, and hawkers and beggars swarmed us. It reminded me of what I don't like about India. The Indians don't give anything to the beggars because they say it perpetuates the abuse of young women and children, and many of the beggars are drug-pushers. They stand around and beg until someone comes up and gives them the signal that they want drugs. Like everywhere, it is big business and controlled by powerful people.

After yesterday's trip to Old Delhi, I have to admit that I was feeling depressed and culture-shocked. Like most Americans, I like my personal space and feel very uncomfortable when it is violated. But today we went to Defence Colony market to the internet cafe and then I invited Betty to stop in at a little espresso bar for a cappuccino for her and an espresso for me. I perked right up after that. I told Betty that that was all it took to cheer me back up. We both agreed that I am by nature very shallow :)

With renewed vigor, or maybe just a caffeine buzz, I step out into the world of India once more. Just have to remember to watch out for the cowpats.