by Warren Baldwin

A college roommate of mine for two years, Richard Hill, is a farmer in Illinois. Thanks to the Internet, we keep in touch with brief notes. And he sends me some of his farming humor. Today I share some of his humor with you: Top Ten Reasons Why Farm Pickups Aren't Stolen.

10. The thief cannot find the right screwdriver among the 25 in the glove box.

11. Grain dust blowing from dash vents causes uncontrolled sneezing fits.

12. Poor visibility caused by accumulation of caps, gloves and foam coffee cups.

13. Corn growing in dirt on floorboards is wrapped up in the steering wheel and pedals.

14. Chains rattling in tool box causes thief to wonder if the pickup is haunted.

15. Gas gauge does not work so the thief thinks the tank is empty.

16. Holes in muffler and bald tires cause unwanted attention from law enforcement officials.

17. Cab jammed with muddy boots, tool box full of livestock medicines, greasy coveralls, and empty seed corn bags leaves no room for passengers.

18. The tailgate is held on with bailing wire; it could fall down and spill stolen goods onto the roadway.

And the #1 reason why farm trucks are not stolen is: The thief can't operate a manual transmission.

I spent some years on a farm. On several farms, actually. We had a small farm, and my brothers and I would also work for different farmers, particularly during the haying season. So, I have some familiarity with those farm trucks. I can understand why they aren't stolen!

But there is something a thief doesn't understand about those farm trucks. Or something that even if the thief did understand he wouldn't do anything about: Many of those old farm trucks are still dependable. That is why the farmer has them around. Oh, I know there are other reasons for them to be around, too. Such as, who would want to buy it if you tried to sell it?

But I know from some of the old equipment we kept around for the farming or construction, that if you give it a little TLC now and then, the old things would work, whether they were farm trucks, chain saws, or old milking machines. Tighten the screws, change the oil, stick some bubble gum in the right place, and you have an almost-new machine. Well, you know what I mean.

I wonder how many other things of importance would still click right on if we gave them a little TLC?

I'm thinking of our marriages. I'm thinking of our connection with our parents or our children. I'm thinking of the folks at church. I'm even thinking of faith.

A little attention. Some kind words. Taking someone out to lunch. A prayer of thanks for blessings received. None of these actions or expressions are a major overhaul: they are just common courtesies and decencies. But that keeps old farm trucks running, and it just might keep the major relationships in our lives running as well.

"A word aptly spoken is like an apple of gold in a setting of silver" (Proverbs 25:11).