by Barry Newton

When making plans for the future, everybody likes to receive approval. And the stakes become even more intense when it is not just someone else's opinion but God's commendation which is desired. The more important our plans are to us, the stronger will be the desire to hear Scripture affirming that we are at least justified in our plans.

One subject which can stir very strong feelings is, after divorce then what? For young people, those who are married as well as those who are divorced, the study of godly options after divorce is beneficial.

It is imperative that you, the reader, understand that this article only seeks to address the question, "as a child of God who is divorced, what does God want me to do?" Reread the last sentence until it clearly sinks into your mind that this article omits any attempt to answer any aspect about what has already happened whether it be divorce or remarriage. This is only about looking at what biblical options are available to a Christian who is currently divorced. Ready?

God's people embedded within the permissive city of Corinth had a question or two for Paul about marriage. Starting with 1 Corinthians 7:1, Paul responded to their concerns. To these people who were wanting to serve God, we discover Paul recounting Jesus' commands regarding what a divorced person seeking to do God's will can do (1 Cor. 7:10,11). Later in 1 Corinthians 7:39, by inference we also discover a third option. These three options are:

1) Remain single

2) Be reconciled to your spouse

3) After the former spouse dies, the Christian could remarry someone who is in the Lord.

To a church which was so tolerant in its thinking that it was proud to have a man who was married to his father's wife (1 Cor. 5:1,2) and who needed to be told that Christians ought not to join themselves with harlots (1 Cor. 6:15,16), these teachings might have sounded quite extreme. Perhaps this will also seem severe to the ears of our permissive generation. But as hard as it might be to hear, scripture consistently proclaims that to remarry before a spouse dies involves adultery, unless someone has divorced the other for the cause of infidelity (Mk. 10:11,12; Rom. 7:3; Matt. 5:32; 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:39; Matt. 5:32; 19:9).

It is also noteworthy that enmeshed within the marital context of 1 Corinthians 7, Paul informs us of the universal principle he had recommended in all the churches. This principle involved a person remaining in that situation in which God had called him (1 Cor. 7:17,20,24). The idea is to "bloom where you are planted." Applying this to a divorced person who responds to the gospel, Paul would be underscoring that the divorcee can serve God as someone who is single.

This study about options after divorce contains lessons for all of us. To the young person dedicated to serving God, before you marry someone, thoughtfully consider whether this Christian you want to marry has the godly character and commitment to go the distance with you until you die. If you have doubts about it lasting that long, realize what your options will be as a divorcee who desires to follow God's ways. To those who are married, do not look at divorce as an easy way out of a difficult situation which can provide you with an automatic divinely approved "Get Married Again" card. To those who are divorced, Scripture provides three options as well as a fourth one if your spouse was unchaste.

None of us can change the past. Praise God that sins can be forgiven. What we have control over today is what we will choose to do today and what plans we make for tomorrow. As disciples dedicated to serving God, let's determine to act in a manner today which will uphold God's will. And for those who are married or for whom contemplating marriage is within God's will for them, weigh seriously what it would mean to faithfully serve God as a divorced individual in order to help you act responsibly and appropriately today.

Compassionate. Clear. It is helpful to be reminded that Paul and Christ spoke in harmony (cf. John 16:13-14; Matt. 10:19-20) on this issue, as they obviously did on all issues. I appreciate your emphasis in this regard, Barry.

I like your focus on the individual. The innocent divorcer is not wearing a "Scarlet A" around his neck in God's sight. The penitent divorcee can offer himself "a living sacrifice" (cf. Rom. 12:1ff) to the Father and his Kingdom.

A few questions, as per the phrase, "only in the Lord" for my personal study:

1. Would it be a sin for a widowed Christian woman to marry a non-Christian man?

2. If a widowed Christian sins in marrying someone who is not a Christian, how is this situation to be corrected? Exactly how would one repent of such a marriage?

3. What if the non-Christian "puts on Christ" after the two are married? (The sister would then be married to one "in the Lord"). Would some form of repentance still be necessary?

4. Suppose the widow under consideration in v. 39 is not a Christian herself. If she is required to marry "only in the Lord" and that means that her future spouse has to be a child of God, then the Christian man is NOT marrying "in the Lord."

My understanding of this passage is that the widow in 1 Cor. 7 is to marry with the Lord's favor (i.e., in harmony with His will). That is, she is to remain faithful to the Lord at all costs, and that she must not sacrifice her devotion to Jehovah in order to get a husband (cf. Eph. 6:1).

Having said all of that, I, like you, urge all Christians to marry those of like precious faith (cf. 1 Pet. 3:7).

Thanks Barry. I applaud your study, your devotion to the Word, and your conviction.

Prov. 17:17,
Mike

Listen close, Barry:

It is imperative that you, Barry, understand that this response only seeks to address the question, "what does the Bible REALLY teach about Marriage & Divorce?" Reread the last sentence until it clearly sinks into your mind that this response omits any attempt to answer any aspect about what MAN feels is right or wrong, only what Scripture says.
Ready? Let's go:

YOU WROTE:
"To these people who were wanting to serve God, we discover Paul recounting Jesus' commands regarding what a DIVORCED PERSON seeking to do God's will can do (1 Cor. 7:10,11)."

You are COMPLETELY wrong! Let's read what Paul actually says in these verses-
1 Corinthians 7:10 But to the MARRIED I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband, 11 (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away.

Barry says these verses are to those divorced.
Paul says these verses are to those MARRIED!!

These verses apply to TWO MARRIED people who are Christians. They are to stay married and, if separated, they are to reconcile. Christians who are compassionate, forgiving, and patient would neither commit adultery nor allow marital problems to escalate into divorce proceedings. Forgive, show love, and work your problems out. Two Christians who are married cannot show Christ's spirit by divorcing.

Paul then continues in 1Cor. 7:
12. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away.
13. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away. 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

Paul is now speaking to ONE MARRIED person who is married to a non-Christian. Once again, he states that a Christian DOES NOT instigate divorce, but remains patient and forgiving and doing their best to keep the marriage together. HOWEVER!!!! if the non-Christian spouse LEAVES!!!! the Christian brother or sister IS NOT UNDER BONDAGE!!!! in such cases. No mention of adultery. No mention of the death of the spouse. The simple act of breaking the marriage oath RELEASES the Christian from the marriage bond. They are free to remarry without death or adultery being mentioned. (UH-OH!!)

AND THEN YOU SAID:
But as hard as it might be to hear, scripture consistently proclaims that to remarry before a spouse dies involves adultery, unless someone has divorced the other for the cause of infidelity (Mk. 10:11,12; Rom. 7:3; Matt. 5:32; 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:39; Matt. 5:32; 19:9) (sic).

Barry, you have missed this completely. In Mark 10, Matthew 5, & Matthew 19, Jesus was NOT changing the Law. (ALSO in Luke 16) Jesus said repeatedly that He had NOT come to abolish the Law, set aside the Law, or change one jot or tittle of the Law. Since the Law PERMITTED divorce for any reason; for Jesus to say it is no longer permitted, save for adultery, is to have Jesus changing the Law. This are calling Jesus a liar. Read carefully, Barry:
Jesus was TEACHING, not establishing Law.
Marriage was "until death do you part".
Adultery was punished by DEATH.
EVERY other reason for divorce under Law Jesus gives as "hardness of heart".
Jesus then states that divorce due to "hardness of heart" are SPIRITUALLY EQUAL to committing adultery, which carries the death penalty.
Jesus is teaching those under the Law that hardness of heart carries the death penalty before God. All of His "But I say unto you..." preaching is NOT to change the Law, but to change the hearts of men before God.
It all boils down to Christians as: "It is death to be hard-hearted toward your neighbor, spouse, friend, or even enemy.

I have dealt with singles and couples in tears who have had pious pinheads tell them that, since they have been divorced, God does not recognize their marriage or their freedom to be married. Couples who are new Christians that have divorce in their past are told to divorce. New single Christians are told they cannot marry. God can forgive murder, but not divorce. Such idiocy. Such hard-heartedness. Where is the God of Peace?
And telling singles whether they can marry or who they can marry in 1 Corinthians 7 is within this context:
26. I think then that this is good in view of the PRESENT DISTRESS, that it is good for a man to remain as he is.
Every verse following this is joined by a conjunction, carrying on the context of PRESENT DISTRESS. We are not under the distress Paul was referring to. His opinions for them do not apply to us today.
Paul's commands about marriage and divorce are:
1. Two married Christians are NOT to divorce.
2. A Christian married to a non-Christian is NOT UNDER BONDAGE if the non-believer leaves. Adultery or death is not mentioned.
3. New Christians who are married, but have divorce in their past, are to remain in the condition they were called in. They are NOT to divorce.
4. A new Single Christian, who has divorce in their past, is a new creature. They should approach marriage knowing that divorce is no longer an option on their part.
Someone who treats others with a hard, unforgiving heart is no longer growing as a Christian. If their condition remains unrepentent, God will cut them off.
Christianity is a COVENANT, but if the Christian turns away and leaves and breaks the covenant, God is free to cut them off. Marriage is a COVENANT, but if one spouse turns away and leaves and breaks the covenant, the other spouse is free from bondage in the same way.
Study these things again, Barry, and teach God's Word, not man's.
Artguy
(p.s. - you, too, Mike Benson. Barry's article was not correct in any sense and neither was your response)

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